Daily Readings
Just For Today
All human beings struggle with self-centeredness. The chronic self-centeredness that lies at the very core of addiction makes that struggle doubly difficult for people like us. Many of us have lived as if we believed we were the last people on earth, utterly blind to the effect our behavior has had on those around us.
The Eighth Step is the process our program has given us to honestly examine our past relationships. We take a look at the writing we did on our Fourth Step to identify the effects our actions had on the people in our lives. When we recognize harm done to some of those people, we become willing to take responsibility for our actions by making amends to them.
The variety of people we encounter in our day and the quality of our relations with them determines, to a great extent, the quality of our very lives. Love, humor, excitement, caring--the things that make life worth living derive much of their meaning from being shared with others. Understanding this, we want to discover the true nature of our relationships with other people and mend whatever breaks we may find in those relations. We want to work the Eighth Step.
Spiritual Principle a Day
Before getting clean, a meaningful relationship was one that got us what we wanted. Now, more and more, we find ourselves getting to know and love other people through NA, sometimes members we never would have expected to connect with. We start by being honest and empathetic with the eccentric bunch of clean addicts we find in recovery. Through working the Steps, we also--to our surprise--begin to develop intimacy with a Higher Power.
But we don't always know what to make of these new assets. Our lives are surely better with their addition, so we accept these unforeseen gifts even when it feels awkward. We realize these new relationships can teach us a lot. We make progress, even when it's two steps forward, one step back. Our intentions aren't to cause pain, but sometimes we end up doing just that. We lean on our sponsor for help and learn to apply spiritual principles. We are starting to accept the fact that we need other people.
We also accept our need for restoration to sanity and seek out a power greater than ourselves for help with that. Some of us return to a spiritual practice we grew up with; others discover, define, and create beliefs that work for them. We pray, we listen, and--if our heads are in the right place--sometimes we even get answers. One member said, "Even when I feel disconnected from my Higher Power, I can still believe that you believe." And some days, that's good enough.
Relationships--with a Higher Power and other people--have rough patches even when we work a program. Our ability to accept ourselves and others helps us learn from challenging relationships instead of running from them. We can stay clean and continue to grow even as our spiritual connections and relationships ebb and flow. When we work the Steps, our relationships get better over time, just like we do.